It is really hard to go places, meet people and get attached to them, and then have to leave. I got very attached to some people and now I have to leave them, and email and phone calls and letters are not the same. Someone I met told me his story (I'll go into that later) of how he was deported (wrongly I think) from the US and he has a kid in Boston and one in France.....oh what a mess. So he wants to spend the rest of his money on a diving suit and spend the rest of his life diving in Dahab, the Red Sea, and he says die there. Makes no sense to me......the suit is expensive and he is otherwise broke. I told him to sell his place but he won't.....well many things about him make no sense but he's told me quite some interesting stuff. And it's hard to hear these stories and see stray cats everywhere and dirty dogs and horses and just the poverty level here is scary. So tomorrow will probably be my last day....I just want to see inside the pyramids and I will probably skip Luxor and Aswan and head for tel basta......however I will get there. SOmehow I have to make my way to Jerusalem, and finally tel aviv. But the religious repression here is strong and I'll look forward to partying in Israel. But I'm still sad about leaving people.......that was how I felt in Berlin.
I'm not being consistent time-wise here but.....HE recommended a place some party place but I don't want to go anywhere that reminds me of him.....I'll dance in Jerusalem or Berlin or wherever but Cairo stabbed me......and I WANTED to come here and I wanted to come to France and both hurt me.....but I'm not always nice, either, although I want to be. I just want to hang around cats and animals now I know why Michael Jackson does.....cause the human race my own kind hurts me too much.....

so......I wish I knew how to be happy here or happy period........ I am trying cause religion's bullshit it's human nature to be happy, we're supposed to be but it's hard work every bit.......just hard, I have to struggle to stay above water..... I am hurt and heartbroken in many ways but I have to keep going regardless.......I am really trying to get better but someone stabbed me and I am a walking wounded.......I am trying to survive and not be embittered.......But I went back to Coptic Cairo today and saw the churches and cemetaries .......the city of the dead, and I love death and cemetaries, I loved the mummies. It's like the dead carry spirits and they carry messages.......and at the Egyptian museum a guy handed me this tiny kitten who couldn't even function on its own......it thought I was Mom and it was freaky......I gave it to the guard who said he'd take care of it........ TOmorrow, Giza again, and the next day Bubastis, which I don't know how I'll get to but I'll get there, then Jerusalem.