So this guy who was going to take this place fell through. Ooooohhhhhhhhhhh......what am I going to do? I can try to sub for a month or two weeks or whatever but why complicate this? I had reservations about this guy anyhow but I decided to take the chance with him. I called him and said I'd be willing to sub to him (he had really wanted it, but I told him I needed a couple days to think about it) but he found another arrangement. Maybe I just annoyed him somehow. So I still haven't even bought the ticket.
I started a discussion on the BandA forum about travel and partners, I should have said lovers. I said I'd miss the one I have, and someone said I'm lucky to have that. BUt that's just it, I don't have that.

Yeah, I was really pissed about this guy not working out and yeah, I have someone else interested but she is limited in her funds. I don't want to be overseas somewhere and suddenly find myself with no rent for the month. God/dess WHAT can I do?
Where is this Great Person who will take my place and feed my cats and not hurt them or me or try to steal my place or set fire to the building or kill my neighbors and who is cool and will pay up front and is a cool person? Great People exist but where are they........????????????????? I know I'm being overdramatic here, but I need this badly. I sort of did a mini prayer about this, and got the response that this guy didn't work out cause it wasn't meant to be, and it's not the right time. But when is? I don't want to be forced to take some crap job and not go anywhere. This is what I was trying to escape from!!!!!!! And this is supposed to be a travel blog and just getting to DC was an ordeal, let alone Bangkok.
My cat Punzie just approached me, maybe with sympathy.

I am reading The Second Sex, the section about hetairas. Some of the radie cheerleaders were talking about this. I don't see myself as a hetaira; although I suppose all women have to please a guy at some point in their lives, me being no exception. Even Simone de Beauvoir suggests these women had some kind of superior charm or power being able to seduce powerful men. They were the freeest women of their day. Still, it's ultimately the men who have to be pleased, seduced, satisfied....well, sorry, but it's not liberation. THe men still control the scene, and can always find another. I had the good fortune of going to school and getting an education so that I don't at least.....well, actually that's not totally true. Even educated women can't make ends meet working their jobs, and besides these jobs are drudgery. So even now, dare I say it, we have to give our bodies to men. Well, I hope no one I know is reading this.