It's nice to be in the comfort of my own home, but I'm still on Egypt time and I miss the people I met there, cause now I'm alone in my apartment waiting for xmas eve. I haven't talked to my family in weeks. I guess when I was there I missed my apartment but now I miss my friends, whom I haven't heard from. ONe was mad at me cause I was late to meet him, but also I think jealous of another friend (both are guys, cause it's mostly guys who befriended me when I went places; many women were either free spirited like me, those that I met, or else they were telling me, you're traveling through Egypt alone and didn't get raped/robbed/killed.......!!!!???), so I hope they're really friends.
I guess this isn't the most cheerful blog but I myself am a naturally tense and not very happy person; I've come to accept that.

Music: Digweed, Dot Allison, the Sparks, I'm listening to now. I like sissy music! I really am a girl although for weeks/months I haven't worn makeup or painted my nails but I did shave my legs. I condition my hair every day and wore cuticle cream, and a guy said something about all this "girl stuff" which is weird cause I'm not that girly, but I am. I'm both. A walking contradiction. I'm not obsessed with makeup and in fact seldom wear it but I wear jewelry, and while in Egypt I was supposed to be xmas shopping but bought stuff for myself mostly. Real xmas spirit, huh? I think rather than buying a bunch of junk my family should invest in plane tickets and just cash will do right now, thank you very much.
I had my staple food of cold sesame noodles and vegetable rolls........which I haven't had in forever. In Cairo my friend Magdy took me to these divy places where I had koshary and felafels, but good stuff, better than here, and a felafel there is 75 piastries or about 10 cents.
But I admire the spirit of New York activism, well not just NYC. There are also the Oakland Fejacs from California. Before the RNC in August there was a massive rave full of dancing and the energy was really intense and positive; there was a real feeling of, it's hard to explain, like we would free ourselves, like positive change will occur, like hope. Radical feminism, radical meaning root, real change, personal is political. And now I understand that. My personal situation with my friends in Egypt IS political......man how do I dare write this stuff on bootsnall travel blog.....maybe I have to move it, but there you are. It's an uphill struggle but it's possible. At Union Square there are always protests and performances going on. But I'm alienated from the Street Harassment Project now, cause it's been taken over by......all these women who say don't agonize, organize types, like stop bitching and let's DO something. Problem is, I don't think the things we do are enough, we need to dig deeper and find something substantial......cause just workshops and benefit parties I feel are honestly wishy-washy......we were supposed to be a radical group but I have to say it's been taken over by what feels like liberal, which is BS. Liberal is, let's all sit down and have a discussion and maybe there's a problem or maybe it's all in our minds or, from Manifesta, 90 percent of the world agrees with feminism but it's all be a misrepresentation or misunderstanding and if we can all just agree on a common ground everything will work out.......I mean oh really? 90 percent of the world is feminist? That's why Yanar Mahomad gets death threats and Independent WOmen's Forum exists.........and it's not just men, it is true, women are sexist and oppress their own......or else this new breed of esoteric, jargony "women's studies" that is a form of ....well I won't get into it here, but which I suspect is right wing propaganda in disguise......sorry I'm rambling, but as others have written, liberals hit the headlines and go far here because they really aren't going to challenge power and aren't going to change anything. Also, they don't name the real cause of our suffering. I'm frustrated here......but if I'm going to stay here I need substance and art or........some kind of......bonding with people. But there is hope yet......while I'm hear I hope to spread that message, of real freedom, and after my trip to the middle east, relatively brief but two weeks were very long, the end of injustice to the people there.
Magdy, Omar, Mahmood,love to you all and I mean it! I miss you.