Woke early this morning, did my routine, but added my new yoga/mental exercises. Fell asleeeeep and didn't want to get out of bed (maybe I shouldn't have). Dreamt that I was in Germany and my Dad and cousin Scott were also there. I was talking to both of them on the phone, I think, and then I was walking by myself through woods. I have three prospective subbers. Tomorrow I'm getting new glasses from my ex (I figure I'll do good and bring him business: he's an optician and has made about 15 pairs of glasses for me in 10 years). I lost my glasses in DC.
Was supposed to practice with the RCs today but it didn't happen. Oh well.......
So I'm hoping to get this place subbed (or something)

by November which is coming up, and then off I go. Egypt, Thailand? Keep in mind that I have no support whatsoever and even my adventurous friends tell me I'm putting myself in danger. The only thing keeping me sane is my travel correspondence. Plus, there are many technicalities. My choice is to stay here, work, act and save money, or travel now while I have the chance because it will be very difficult to save money while I'm living here. Food alone runs high and that's $ I could spend on the road. So I'm about to become an American outlaw and God/dess forbid a vagabonder. Keep in mind that the environment I was raised in was designed to make us, well, not this. I was raised to be a young professional, but I'm not blaming anyone; people intended the best for me. BUt it wasn't enough. My dad wonders why I'm not married and don't have kids. Let's start with: I'm still a kid myself and don't want to be raising neurotics. I don't have Mr. Right in my life. The marriages I was exposed to growing up did not radiate happiness, nor did most of them work. I haven't travelled enough. I haven't advanced to where I want to be in my career. I don't want to be working myself to exhaustion at a full time job and raising a kid. This is America where workers have little protection. Should I move to.........Europe? I may have to. I want them, I'll have them. But not at this stage. I don't like high heels and tight skirts and hose and all those sadistic outfits we're supposed to wear in an office, nor do I like being constricted. OK, I'm trying to be euphemistic. I did like my former CEO and felt kind of bummed that I didn't talk to him more before I left.

And the Hamptons Film Festival is going on now, but I don't feel like freezing in the Hamptons. I was hoping it'd be a good chance to network with people but......maybe I'll find a New York one.

I was thinking, with what time and money I have left, I should devote my time and energy purely to what I want to do: performing. Now is the time to make it work. This is why I'm retreating a lot lately because I need to be mentally uncluttered, if you know what I mean.